A coffee shop conversation that stayed with me

The other day, I was out for coffee and overheard part of a conversation between two women sitting nearby.

One of them was talking about her husband’s health. She mentioned diabetes, medication, and a few other issues he was dealing with. At one point, she said something that really stayed with me: that if he changed his diet and lifestyle, he could probably come off at least some of the medication he was taking.

Of course, I don't know their full story, what he has tried, what kind of support he has, or what his life feels like from the inside. And I pass no judgment, everyones journey, values and decisions are their own when it comes to their health and life.

But it got me thinking about something I see all the time, both in other people and in myself.

We often keep living in ways that do not really support us, even when some part of us knows better. And it's strange, because this feeling that we knowingly do things that contradict what we our best interests seems to be a universal. It seems so simple to turn it into a conversation about discipline, motivation, or knowledge. But in my experience, it usually runs deeper than that.

A lot of the habits we struggle with are doing something for us. They help us cope. They help us escape. They bring comfort, predictability, relief, or a sense of control. Even the habits that leave us feeling worse can still be serving some purpose underneath the surface.

That is why real change is rarely just about knowing what to do.

usually it starts with being honest enough to ask why we keep doing what we are doing.

Not to judge ourselves. Just to understand ourselves a little better.

Because once you understand the role a habit is playing in your life, you can respond with more clarity. You can make a change that is actually rooted in truth instead of pressure. And sometimes, you realize the issue is not just the habit itself, but the need underneath it that has not been acknowledged.

A reflection for you

This week I wanted to share with a simple reflection that I wrote out for myself. I find it grounding and usually illuminating any time I come back to these questions, even more-so in times of change..

Before you begin:

Find a quiet space and make sure you have a few moments to center yourself and take a few deep breaths before you begin. Then when you're ready, ask yourself:

Is there something in my life that I keep doing, even though I know it is probably costing me more than it is giving me?

It could be something with food, alcohol, sleep, stress, work, screens, movement, or the way you talk to yourself. It does not have to be dramatic. Just something that feels real.

Then ask yourself:

What does this give me?

What need is it meeting?

What would feel hard about changing it?

What am I afraid might happen if I let it go?

What benefits might there be to not changing?

And if I did change it, what might open up in my life?

You do not need perfectly polished answers.

The value is in being willing to pause long enough to tell yourself the truth.

A place to begin

If you want a simple place to start, I created a free Health Snapshot you can use to reflect on where your health feels supported, where it feels strained, and what might be asking for your attention right now.

Take the Health Snapshot here:

If this kind of reflection feels useful to you, and you’d like to receive weekly tools, tips, and thoughtful ideas like this, you can join my newsletter here:

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Sometimes the next step is not pushing harder.

Sometimes it is seeing yourself more clearly.

— Chris