Nervous System
•
15 mins
Workaholism 1.0: When Work Stops Being Work
A simple self-check and 7-day tool to spot workaholism patterns and rebuild your “off switch” — without shame, diagnosis, or rigid protocols.
Workaholism 1.0: When Work Stops Being Work
If you’ve ever been called a workaholic and felt annoyed by it — same.
I didn’t think I was one either. I just worked a lot sometimes. I was building something. Chasing a dream. And when I could take time off, I wanted to.
Here’s what I eventually had to admit:
Escaping from work and using work to escape can be two sides of the same coin.
This post is a self-check + tool — not a diagnosis. Think of it as pattern recognition:
What is your relationship to work doing for you… and what is it costing you?
Watch the YouTube episode: Workaholism: When Work Stops Being Work
What a workaholic actually is (in plain language)
A lot of people think workaholism means “long hours.”
But the research definition usually points to two things happening together:
Working excessively (the visible part)
Working compulsively (the hidden part — the internal pressure)
The compulsive part is the tell.
Workaholism is when the “off switch” starts failing.
You stop… but you don’t feel relief. You feel restless. Guilty. Pulled back in — even when nothing is urgent.
A hard-working person can work a lot and still recover.
A workaholic might work the same hours — but stopping doesn’t feel safe.
The 30-second self-check
Don’t overthink this. Answer fast.
As you read, track one extra thing:
Do these feel neutral… or do you feel tension in your body?
If there’s tension, don’t judge it — get curious. That’s usually the doorway.
1) The Choice Test
When you could stop… can you stop?
Or do you feel guilty/restless/pulled back in even when nothing is urgent?
2) The Recovery Test
When you rest, does it actually refuel you?
Or does rest feel uncomfortable — like you can’t settle until you’re “on” again?
3) The Cost Test
If this pattern is costing you sleep, mood, patience, or relationships… do you adjust?
Or do you keep going anyway — and justify it as responsibility?
Now pause and ask one coaching question:
What does work give me that I’m afraid to lose?
Control? Certainty? Worth? Identity? Safety? Relief? Praise?
Write the most honest answer you can. One sentence is enough.
The question most people skip
Work usually does provide real benefits: money, stability, identity, purpose.
That’s why workaholism is so hard to spot — because it can look like thriving.
So the question isn’t:
“Is work giving you something?”
It’s:
“How are you paying for what work gives you?”
Workaholism tends to over-invest in the visible pillars (career, finances, achievement)…
while quietly shorting the invisible ones (recovery, nervous system safety, connection, joy, presence).
A research-backed mirror (optional)
There’s a short research tool called the Bergen Work Addiction Scale (BWAS).
It’s used in research to screen for work patterns that resemble dependency loops (not “working a lot,” but work as regulation).
Use it like this:
Not a label. A mirror.
If it concerns you, treat it as a signal to get honest — and get support.
[Link to BWAS / research source]
(I don’t reproduce the scale here — the tool below is the practical version I use in coaching.)
The 7-day “Off Switch” experiment
This is the tool from the episode. The goal isn’t to “work less.”
It’s to rebuild flexibility — to prove to your nervous system that stopping is safe.
Step 1 — One sentence (10 seconds)
Write: “Work gives me ______.”
Control. Safety. Worth. Relief. Certainty. Escape. Praise. Whatever is true.
Step 2 — Choose a daily stop moment (7 days)
Pick something realistic and repeatable:
a time (ex: 7:30pm) or
an event (ex: after dinner)
When that moment hits, do these three steps:
1) Write one line for tomorrow:
“Tomorrow, the first thing I’ll do is ______.”
(One thing. Not a list. This tells your brain: “It’s held.”)
2) Close work physically:
Close the laptop. Leave the office. Silence notifications if you can.
3) Do 10 minutes of something non-productive:
A slow shower. Sitting outside. A short walk. Lying on the floor. No screens if possible.
Step 3 — The whole point (30 seconds)
During that 10 minutes, answer:
What feeling shows up when I stop?
Where do I feel it in my body?
What do I immediately want to reach for?
Email? Chores? Scrolling? “One more task”?
No judgment. Just data.
Step 4 — End of week (2 minutes)
Finish these sentences:
The most common feeling was ______.
Work gives me ______.
When I stopped, I learned ______.
One small change I want to keep is ______.
That’s it.
You’re not trying to “win at rest.”
You’re teaching your system: I can stop — and still be okay.
Want deeper support with this?
If this topic feels familiar, the Self-Mastery Toolkit includes deeper reflection, practical tools, and supportive resources to help you work through it at your own pace.
Inside, you’ll find guided prompts, self-audits, printable resources, and community support designed to help you build more awareness, strengthen your foundations, and return to what supports you.
Explore the Self-Mastery Toolkit
If you are not ready for that, you can still stay connected through The Turning Point — my free weekly Be Your Own Coach letter with reflections, prompts, and practical tools.
If you want more personalized support
Sometimes a pattern is hard to shift alone — especially when it has become tied to stress, identity, or how you keep yourself functioning.
1:1 Health Coaching offers a more tailored space to understand what is out of alignment, strengthen the right foundations, and choose the next steps that make sense for your life right now.
Not sure where to begin? Start here.
My free Health Snapshot is a short self-audit to help you get a clearer picture of your current health, habits, and life structure — so you can see what may need attention first.
